I just had to fire a friend of mine. I've known him for 15 years, originally from BJJ. but he stopped training years ago so I never see him at the school. I only see him when he comes to take care of my lawn. He's been my lawn guy for like 7 years I think.
The problem is that he can be hard to get ahold of, and he never does what he says he'll do when he says he'll do it. He's usually off by days, sometimes weeks. If he wasn't my friend, I'd have let him go for this already because chasing the people you hire to work for you defeats the entire purpose of paying for their help. I tolerate it because #1, I don't care that much about my lawn, and #2, he does eventually show up and he's got me grandfathered in at a super cheap rate.
But even though changing lawn guys will likely cost me more money, I plan to replace him with someone who is more timely and communicates better - thus actually saving me more time and hassle, which makes up for the greater cost.
I've been referencing this quote a lot lately so I thought I'd put it here to call attention to it. I've loved this quote and have tried to live my life by it from the very first time it was shown to me back in high school wrestling:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena...
I'm working on a poem that you can use when you are trying to overcome resistance or work on your social freedom skills by yourselves.
I think this sums up a few of our mottos, reminders, and mindsets in a fun, memorable way.
Let me know what you think!
This was a gift from community member Chris Pony.
I think we should all try to remember a world before we had anxiety-generating devices in our pockets 24/7.
This is a good reminder that if no one told you what to be worried about so often, you'd probably be way more chill.
I always think it's helpful when you can see a coach/mentor/advisor following their own advice, so I'm sharing this with you.
I was recently accepted into a business course presented by one of the best-known business schools in the USA.
It's a scholarship program, so the course is free, but the requirements are high and took me a couple years to get accepted (you can apply to the program yourself right here).
I've just completed the orientation week and I'm already very happy that I didn't allow things like fear-induced apathy ("I don't really need this program"), self-doubt ("What if I can't complete the course?"), or my current stress level ("I just don't have time for this") become excuses that stopped me.
A couple lessons to take away:
Happiness comes from working hard, and well, on something you care about.
Why do I continue being an entrepreneur when it's such a daily struggle for me? I've repeatedly referred to it as the hardest thing I've ever done, so why don't I stop and do something easier?
Because it turns out, entrepeneurship is also the most sustainably fun, and happy-making, way I've found to spend my time.
Success in business - not only because it means I have the ability to take care of myself, but also for the positivity it brings to others - makes me happier, longer, and more often, than any other non-Lilly related activity.
My happiness comes from...
Recently I was at a rock concert seeing one of my all-time favorite live acts (311, for anyone who cares). Unfortunately, I was plagued by unhelpful recurring thoughts about an interaction I had earlier with a student. There was nothing more for me to do - the situation was settled - yet I kept playing events in my head on repeat, over and over again. It was putting me in a melancholy funk when I wanted to feel anxiety free and able to fully enjoy the show.
Fortunately, I wasn’t so triggered that I couldn’t think clearly - and despite knowing that I could not directly think my way out of my emotions this time, I could at least remember the list of common interventions for dealing with unpleasant emotions.
The first - and most often ignored - is always acceptance. I had to stop resisting the fact that...
This post originally comes from an answer to a post in the #emotional-courage-and-mental-health Courage Conversations thread.
A community member asked a great question the other day. She writes:
Lately I've really been struggling with anxiety, specifically around finances.
A great question came up in the #dating-and-relationship-courage thread recently
What is the difference between physical attraction and objectification? Because people always say they don’t like being objectified, but finding someone aesthetically pleasing is natural, right?
I recently received a compliment from a student that prompted me to write the following response. After I had written it I thought it would be good to share with you all so you can see my vision for the community and help me continue to craft it with you.
The student wrote:
A quick review of your community here...
I still get a pang of fear before I sit down to do ANYTHING I deeply care about. Anything that I think has serious consequences, or any time where I really want to do my best.
And for someone like me that's done years of courage coaching and pushing my comfort zone, I actually wish the fear would show up SOONER!
You see, the fear doesn't really hit me until I finally force myself to sit down and do the work. And as soon as it does, I recognize it for what it is and my good habits of "following the fear" take over and I push past the negative feelings and get to work.
But up until that point, the fear tricks me...